Lawyer Rod

My favorite meme right now is Lawyer Dog. I laugh every time I see one and here is a great example of why:

one more:

But of course I think everything is better with a Rod spin.

I present: Lawyer Rod.

Here’s to a bright future at the Law Offices of Rod, Rod, & Rod!

Bouncer Rod

The more I examine Rod’s behavior, the more I come realize how he views his role in the family.

Instead of my little buddy, he acts more like my personal bouncer.

Whether we’re out on a walk

or hanging out around the house

Rod always has my safety in mind.

I’m just glad he takes a break once in a while.

Thanks for keeping me safe, Rod!

Private Rod

There are few times when Rod wants to be alone, but he makes it very clear when he wants privacy. Usually he’s up to no good.

Top 5 reasons Rod wants to be alone.

He’s staring outdoors.

Shredding a stolen napkin.

Just needs to get away.

Sneaky indoor poop.

Reading a book.

Everybody needs to be alone sometimes.

I'm not offended, Rod. 

Mystery Rod

Today I am bringing you an all points bulletin, courtesy of Rod. At this time we believe a mystery creature has set up shop under the floorboards. Here is his data.

There is a smell distinguishable only by Rod located here.

There are no sounds readily available to human ears.

No amount of scratching the floor is fixing the situation.

Rod is vigilantly watching the smell location to gather more clues.

After the bird incident of 2011, I learned to trust Rod’s APBs. I expect a family of raccoons to make their way into the house any day now.

See video footage of Rod’s investigation here:

You can count on us for late breaking mystery creature news. Stay tuned.

Captain Rod

I know I’m not alone in the desire to know my dog’s thoughts. I bet he’s full of hilarious one-liners and real world advice.

For now, all I have are educated guesses and I’m pretty sure his thought process is something like this.

 “Captain’s log, day 50. The deckhands ran out of wet food today. Hunger strike is anticipated.”

“Captain’s log, day 62. Something is in the air. I believe the deckhands are cooking bacon for themselves. Full investigation underway.”

“Captain’s log, day 62. Suspicion confirmed. Bacon mysteriously appeared in my dining quarters this evening. The deckhands must have felt guilty.

Captain’s log, day 90. I pooped on the deck this morning. The deckhands are very understanding and believe it to be an accident. Hilarious.”

 Captain’s log, day 103. The sea is rough this evening; weather conditions are quite poor. I do not expect to use proper lavatory facilities while this continues.

I expect we’ll see many more entries of the captain’s log. Rod is quite eager to share his writings.